Michelle Thorne Books

Full Circle, Reconnecting with My Son

It felt right, full. And it was full. It was a full, full circle.

Please, Don’t PTL Adoption

Adoption is born out of great loss. As a birthmom, I know this well, and when I hear the bandaid of “God’s plan” go over the wound of childhood trauma, well it makes me sick.

Listen-Learn-Love

These days, I’m searching for diversity. In my desperate longing to help women who have placed a child for adoption, I am gaining perspective. I am listening to adoptees. I am listening to adoptive parents. I am listening to social workers. I am listening.

Trauma (Birth)Mama?

What if along with the grief counseling and grief-survival skills we teach birthparents, we teach them what courage looks like, how to connect, how trauma affects the brain (which they have experienced as a result of the separation), how trust works? What if we teach them to be trauma-informed people, who have compassion for the needs of themselves and their child?

Being You

If you are a birthmom, this is for you. If you worked through Revealing You and thought, “Great! Now what,” This is for you. If you are a person, who needs something a bit deeper, this is for you.

Adoption Connection Week 4

Last week of the Adoption Connection. Enjoy!

Adoption Connection Week 3

Adoption Awareness Week 3 – Supporting Families Bringing a Child Home

Adoption Connection Week 2

Week 2 of a 4 part series of adoption awareness posts I am doing for my school here in Qingdao.

Adoption Connection Week 1

I’ve been doing some adoption awareness posts for my school here in Qingdao. I thought I would share them here with you all too. Enjoy!

Sucking as a Mom? Me Too

I didn’t become a parenting expert (whatever that is) when I had children.

You Don’t have to Know it All as an Adoptive Parent

Don’t be under the false impression that you have to know it all. Don’t get bullied into shame. This is too important.

The Dance of Grief

I don’t want to grieve well. I want to grieve honestly.

Seventeen

Today, I learned something about these birthdays: sometimes a ritual is confining.

The Sacred Beginning

I am becoming more convinced than ever that we need to create space and grace for the sacred beginning. It’s important.

New Post on Relevant.com

My post on Relevant.com about human dignity in adoption.

Good Try

If love covers a multitude of sins, hopefully it covers the good tries as well.

Please, Stop Oversharing Your Child’s Story

If we give our child’s story away, he will stop trusting us with it when he gets older.

You Get Me; You Just Don’t Know It

In my new book Mine, Yours & Ours (coming soon) I make an attempt to get the reader to understand birthmom pain. I wonder though, if you already get it; you just don’t know it yet.

BraveLove

I am the first contributor in their new section Being a Birth Mom. I have a few links to share!

Moving to China In the Perfect Space

Am I saying we are going to our death? YES! Yes, I am. I truly believe we all are, and we all should be.

Open Contact in Adoption: Why?

I understand that birthparents want contact, for the most part, but I don’t think we should have contact in adoption because of the birthparents.

Refueling

Do you feel like you’re running out of gas? That despite your best efforts you’re about to come to a grinding halt slap bang in the middle of the highway of life?

BirthMom Buds Newsletter

I am excited to be featured in the BirthMom Buds newsletter this quarter.

The MLB and Me

So, for something a little fun and in honor of baseball opening last week, please, enjoy the best poem I’ve ever written.

Adoption is Not a Favor

There needs to cease to be the idea that adoptive parents do birthparents a favor and birthparents do adoptive parents a favor. Favor is indicative of debt. They are parenting my child and now I owe them. She placed her child with us and now we owe her. We did her a favor and now she owes us. I did them a favor and now they owe me. YUCK! Adoption is not a favor.

Bittersweet Sixteen

Today is hard. Today I put my money where my mouth is. Today I only focus on being present.

Mine, Yours & Ours Teaser #2

If we step back and really look at the Word, we are under no obligation to care for widows and orphans through adoption. We want to be like Christ, yes, but are we called to feed 5,000 with a loaf of bread and a few fish?

Sin and Error, Pining

I’ve been wrong about Jesus plenty of times, and I venture to guess there are still things that I don’t know about Him.

November, and the Beginning

Love birthmoms well this month by acknowledging that the joy of the adoptive family began with with pain of a birthmother’s loss.

Waiting for Baby

In those moments, in those times of longing and wondering and crying out, I pray that you are open to reason God has called you to adoption, to make you more like Him, to be in deeper relationship with Him, to know Him more. That is your joy and your prize in the process of adoption, a baby to love and care for is just bonus.

Redefining Success

How in the midst of all of this can I find any measure of success? How can I get up and go to work tomorrow if I have to look at that again?

Still saying “still”

If you assume that I don’t love my child at this moment because I placed him for adoption over fifteen years ago, the shame is on you.

Revealing You Preface

I wanted to share the preface with you, friends, to give you a taste of the journal.

Celebrating Birthdays

My amazing, loving husband and my children have a bit of a tradition for my son’s birthday.

Write? Okay. Publish? UGH!

Writing is fabulous, but publishing anything, even this post, is uncomfortable. I feel like people are rolling their eyes at me or patting me on the head. When I wrote Delivered, I had friends comment on how shocked they were, pleasantly, that they were not embarrassed for me. Now, after publishing Revealing You, I have had more than one person say to me that I am a writer now. That only affirmed my fear that one book wasn’t enough or that self-publishing, with its long nights and steep learning curve, was somehow less than.

Revealing You: A Journal for Birthmothers

It’s not all-inclusive but it has the energy to take you deeper. I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED ABOUT IT!!!

Flawed Mothers’ Club

It is not an exclusive club, but a wide-open community of people who love deeply and dare greatly and sacrifice and weep and mourn and sing over our beloved.

extraORDINARY

Jesus is extraordinary, there is no denying that, but He is ordinary too.

Front and Center

I went to a surprisingly refreshing Palm Sunday service this morning with my family.

Why Write?

Whether it is my blog or a book, my desire is for connection.

Jesus though…

I want to believe that when we are naked in the Temple and the streets and in prayer and in relationship, when we bear witness to Jesus through our story, others are able to understand Him better, encounter Him and receive freedom.

Even Here?

“Fear not! For I am with you.”
“Even here?” I ask.
“Yes, even here.”
“Because this sucks,” I have to tell Him.
“Yep, I’m with you there too.”

Balancing the Scales

I feel like the Church has suggested adoption as the end all, be all in unplanned pregnancy, and I wonder why?

birthPARENTING

I made the only parenting decision I could and it would be my last for him. Right? Wrong.

Parenting is Pride-Swallowing

The ideal is the goddess of the norm. We worship her. We long for her. We live or die by her rules, and ultimately friends, we die.

Mine, Yours & Ours

Mine, Yours & Ours coming soon!!!

A Brief Look at Joy and Grief in Adoption

Adoption is born out of loss. Joy out of pain. Continued joy out of continued pain. The gift that keeps on giving.

I Wonder About Joy

External indicators of joy cannot be the defining mark of joy. It’s deeper than that.

A Word About Yesterday’s Post

I don’t always believe God or agree with Him about my circumstances. I don’t always trust what God has for me, but I do trust that I can talk to Him about it.

Losing to Lewy Body

In October my mother was diagnosed with Lewy Body Disease.

It was devastating.

Excerpt from Delivered: The Surrender

If you have ever wondered what it feels like to place a child for adoption, here is an excerpt from my book Delivered and how it felt to me.

Still Waiting With Him

Why does waiting feel so like grief?

Waiting With Him

Sometimes I think I can manipulate the waiting, like the antenna on top of an old television.

The Marriage Altar

My husband says, “Cleave is the opposite of cleave.” I don’t think there is a bit of irony in that but a stark truth. And I am thankful.

Misunderstood

How does this present chaos and struggle and grief fit with an eternal God of love, joy and redemption?

Pulled Taut

For birthmothers, grief comes at life events. Today was one of mine.

An Open Response

“There are so many ways to care for orphans. Please, please, do not for any reason choose to foster/adopt a child out of guilt from a pastor, family member, or misinterpretation of Scripture. The only reason to bravely step into the life of a child is because God has called you to do that.”

Deleted Scene: The Other Beginning

Because you were all so kind a few weeks ago, I will treat you to the beginning that was not to be…

Right to Life Sermon

The right to life issue is a sovereignty of God issue.

Relevance

I came to Little Rock and this job with an advantage, or so I thought.

BirthMom Buds Retreat

This weekend we will celebrate and remember.

Kara Thrace and Her Special Destiny

Where is the freedom? Where is the joy? Why can’t I get this through my thick heart? Surely, if I was doing it right, doing it well, doing it enough I would be living in wedded bliss with my Bridegroom!

But I wasn’t, and it had me wondering, why isn’t my Christian life working for me?

In a Nutshell

My grief was a nasty little man with pale skin and a whip, reminding me of my slavery to a great loss.

The tree of Life

The tree of Life though, that inviting endless discovery of God, intimately connected to my heart by His Spirit inside of me, is offering shade.

Morning Air Interview on Relevant Radio

Looking forward to another great interview with Sean Herriott.

God is not an iPhone

This is the first in a series about who/what God is not because I thought it would be fun. I hope you enjoy it too!

Many thanks to Nathaniel Harris for the phrase “a miracle in your pocket” he uses when speaking of the sleek iPhone.

I Quit

Spiritual Disciplines. Let’s end this charade. Let’s give up this fight. Let’s take off these masks and get down to it. Because I am sick and tired and weary and wanting more. I am fed up with ways to meet with the Lord in just six easy steps.

Struggle

I have found myself tired, discontent, and angry at the guilt I feel toward this impossible role of being God’s child. And I wonder, is this all there is?

This Story, This Passionate Story

The revelation of His feelings for me stirred my soul. The Lord is passionate about us. I mean, passionate. He pursues us continually, gives us good gifts, and takes great delight in us.

I will lose my voice to this story.

Cadence & Deacon

They are the love of God in the flesh at my fingertips every single day.

Sharing on Kindle

“Oh Honey! This book will rock your world. It’s so raw and real. It tells this amazing story of how the Lord redeems even the worst sinners. Here! I’ll let you borrow it.”

100 Huntley Street

I had the amazing experience of being a guest on 100 Huntley Street this morning. I loved every minute of it! I hope you do too. Click here to see the interview.

Psalm 34

I know this is supposed to be my blog, but the Word of the Lord is so much better than anything I can come up with.

CityChurch Charlotte Blog

Today I am a guest blogger at CityChurch Charlotte’s Blog.

Give Up

Whenever I speak about my experience as a birthmother I cannot whole-heartedly say that I “placed” my baby boy for adoption. Read why.

Glamour Owl

Go, purchase, and proceed to adorn yourself in beautiful and comfortable style.

and

And is a conjunction word used to connect words of the same part of speech, clauses, or sentences that are to be taken jointly.

Interview with Sean Herriott of Relevant Radio

Just in case you missed it, here is Michelle’s interview with Sean Herriott from Relevant Radio this morning. Go down to 6/22/2012 and click on Hour 2. http://relevantradio.com/audios/morning-air-with-sean-herriott

Answering the Lurking Question

Why did you give your baby away?

Make Your Mark

Blue ink, a tiny thumb, and a seized opportunity for art—a masterpiece indeed.

America Adopts Interview

Hey friends! Here is a link to my recent interview with America Adopts. Hope you enjoy! *UPDATED 8/4/2014* It has come to my attention that this link is no longer available. So, I have posted the interview here for you to read instead! AMERICA ADOPTS INTERVIEW 1. Let’s start at the beginning of your journey. […]

Silence is Golden

You can own that joy, you can move forward knowing that you loved well, and you can be truly, deeply happy without feeling guilty.

Delivered on Kindle!

Hey there! Just a quick post to let you all know that Delivered is now on Kindle. I am very excited about the possibilities of this, as it is now available in almost any language including Italian, Portuguese, Spanish, French, German, Cyrillic (such as Russian), Japanese, Chinese (Traditional and Simplified), and Korean! Please, pass this […]

Jump In!

Have you ever seen a little kid learning to jump into water for the first time? The fear that grips them is evident. They know they can trust their father, but they do so against every fiber of their being. They hesitate and question making sure that their father is indeed going to be there […]

Chalk Up a Win!

Everyone has been asking me how this weekend went in Oklahoma, so here it is! GREAT!!! Pure Compassion was an amazing conference with passionate people, diverse groups with a common goal, and touching stories. For me it was a first. It was my first time going to a conference full of people that I didn’t […]

Going the Distance

I love baseball. It’s the best sport—ever. With Opening Day just a little over a month away, I started thinking about baseball today. I love the smell of freshly cut grass, the sound of the crowd, the loyalty of the fans. I love hot dogs and people watching. I love the math involved. I love […]

I Am a Horse

Throughout my life I have been called a horse at various times on various occasions. The first time I remember being called a horse was by my best friend’s mom. We had been playing around and I sat on Kim. Her mom yelled, “Get off my daughter, you horse.”

The Independent Variable

In my twelve years since giving a child up for adoption, I have been talking about the experience, and find it to be like allowing people to go through my secret drawer. I have met all kinds of people interested to hear what I have to say. Wanting to know what it was like to […]