There are days I wish I didn’t know about all of this, but I do.
When I wrote Delivered, I thought it would be a cathartic experience that might help others understand the birthmother experience. It was that and so much more. After releasing Delivered, I had the privilege of encountering people touched by adoption in various ways, loving on a lot of women, answering pointed questions, and then, becoming a Pregnancy Counselor. If I have learned anything, and I have learned much, I have learned this: there is a huge gaping hole in the world of post-placement care for birthparents.
Revealing You was born out of a passion for the hearts of the women who place their child for adoption. It is a journey through personal discovery, emotional awareness, and spiritual healing after placing a child for adoption. It gives a space to be and feel with freedom and honesty. This journal will challenge birthmothers to process through the rough waters of placing a child for adoption and facilitate healing as they write. With a wide variety of topics specific to birthmothers, this valuable resource can be used individually, for one-on-one counseling, or in a group setting.
My third book Mine, Yours and Ours came from a longing for connection between birth and adoptive parents. While working as an adoption professional, I recognized the steep learning curve that these couples go through when they begin to explore and commit to adopting a child. At Bethany, we spent a lot of time and energy educating and setting these families up for success on both sides of placement. The long hours of work and the moments of “that was hard to hear” were well worth it in the end. However, with how easy it is to get a home study done and then post your profile on the internet, I grew concerned about the health of the relationships after placement occurred. Mine, Yours and Ours is an effort in preventative care. It is meant to encourage and educate (prospective) adoptive families, in hopes that they create and foster healthy relationships with their child(ren) and their child(ren)’s birth families.
And now, there is a fourth book. Being You is for women who have placed a child for adoption, done some hard work (perhaps gone through Revealing You) and thought, “Great. Now what?” Because this is a train that birthmoms don’t get off of, and because of my own awareness of what living with this choice is like two decades later, I wrote a second journal. Being You is for women who are a little farther from placement, and it hopes to draw them closer to healing through topics like open-hearted connection and parenting after placement.
Like I said, there are days I wish I didn’t know about all of this. But I do, and because I do, I will fight with everything I have for these women. This life of mine, this knowledge, my triumphs and my failures are a love offering. Take what you need, friends. All are welcome here.
“Birthmothers are the forgotten, or perhaps hidden, piece in the beautiful triptych of adoption.”
– Michelle Thorne