Yes, friends! That’s the title of my new book!!! *squealing with delight*
It’s not just a book. It’s a journal for women who have placed a child for adoption. This journal is a tool. It can be used in a group or one-on-one counseling or done individually. It’s purpose is to help initiate and facilitate healing after placing a child for adoption. It’s not all-inclusive but it has the energy to take you deeper. I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED ABOUT IT!!!
I have included topics like talking to your children about being a birthmother, forgiveness, worthy to be known, and the new normal. Most importantly, I have included pages and pages to write your heart out. Most of the work of healing from trauma is done on your own. This journal will hold your hand and guide you through your own journey post-placement because, friends, ‘birthmother’ is a train you never get off of.
Here is a teaser, and because it’s Mother’s Day, I will go with that:
A word about Mother’s Day: sucks. Well, that’s it…
Seriously, Mother’s Day is a huge trigger for grief to pop up. It can be going to church and not being able to stand when they ask all the mothers to stand, because what they mean is women who have parented or are parenting children. (I hope that’s not happening at your church, by the way.). It could be that you are not recognized as a mother by anyone, which is so hurtful. It could be that you are parenting other children, they give you a flower and celebrate you, and yet, it still doesn’t feel complete somehow. Maybe it’s just a nationally honored day of shame for you. Whatever it is, Mother’s Day can be, will likely be, a hard day every year.
My best advice, for whatever it’s worth, prepare for it. Make it a ‘treat-yo-self’ day! Go to eat at your favorite spot. Curl up with a good book. Watch your favorite movie. Surround yourself with people who support you and love you and give you the freedom to be where your at and feel how you feel. And give yourself the freedom to have fluctuating emotions. Don’t get stuck. Push through the moments, and know it’s one day and you’re not alone. Connect with your support group or an online forum for birthmothers if you don’t have anyone present in your life to reach out to.
Your role as a mother cannot be justified by anyone. They will not do it justice. Don’t rely on them.
Take courage, friend! You are a mother. You made an enormously selfless parenting decision. Know that you are loved and accepted by God, and treat yourself accordingly.
How can you prepare right now for Mother’s Day? What do you anticipate will be your biggest challenge? What are some ways you can celebrate yourself and the choice of life?
Stay tuned, friends! Reavealing You: A Journal for Birthmothers is coming your way very soon!
I love you all big time,